For my hiraeth I wrote about my grandmom. In my draft I didn’t get to write all that I wanted to write, I could’ve kept typing about her for hours. While I was writing and thinking about memories I have with her, I started to feel like she was right there back with me. I had a picture of me and her sitting right next to me so I could look at a happy moment I had with her, and that got my mind racing. Tons of memories with my Grandmom came to mind, good and bad. It made me have all types of emotions going through my mind, so before I even started to write my draft I went and talked to my father, who was the son of my grandmom, and sat and just talked to him about memories with her. I also went and talked to him because it was the day of her 2 year death anniversary and we were both upset, but he clearly was hurting more. While we sat there and talked about her we both cried, laughed, got serious, joked around, every emotion possible. After the conversation with my father it felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was finally able to write about her with a clear mind. The thing that also gave me motivation to write about her was seeing that I changed my father’s mood and changed his attitude also. While I sat in my room alone with the picture of me and my grandmom sitting next to me, I felt relieved and nauseous at the same time, since I miss her so much. As I started writing, more memories kept coming back to me and I felt as if she was there reminding me of everything we did, and everything that has happened over the years, even since her passing. After writing up my quick first draft so I didn’t miss the deadline I sat and reminisced about her for a while. It changed my mindset and attitude towards a lot of things, but most importantly gave me faith in everything. Now I feel like my grandmom is with me everywhere I go watching over me. The reason I even chose to write about her is because she was the closest thing to home I could think of. She was my best friend, my grandmother, and most importantly the biggest role model in my life.
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One specific scene that I'm using from my hiraeth project is one that I'll never forget. The scene is sad, but at the same time relieving. My grandmom ended up getting a brain tumor and moved in with me and my family. She would sit in her recliner chair in the family room watching qvc all day long ordering the most random things. It was summer time so sometimes I would go out and sit on the deck with her and she would just tell me all types of stories about her life, while giving me advice at the same time. After I would wheel her back in on her wheelchair, she would have to start trying to do her excersises with whatever nurse we had at the time; my grandmom always had an attitude and she would argue with the nurse saying she isn't going to do it while laughing. She would finally cave into doing them and she would get help up to try thing baby steps with her water since her body became so weak from the cancer, but my point being after she finally caved in she would give me a little smirk and wink and say "Love you Danno". I would sit there all day with my grandmom on summer days when I wasn't doing anything because neither would she, and even though she couldn't move out of her chair on her own, we would still always manage to have a fun day together and it be nothing but laughs. That's one thing she was the best at; no matter what she would make me smile.
When Sabatino first said hiraeth, I didn't even know how to pronounce it. To me the definition on a hiraeth is a longing for a home that you can't go back to. At first I had no idea what I would write about because I can't remember much of my childhood, and I sure as hell didn't want to write about an ex girlfriend. I chose to write about my grandmom. She is not a home but she is a person that I considered my home. I remember many details about her and miss her everyday since she past away two years ago. I could say that my grandmom is something that I long for and wish I could have back, but can't. my grandmother was the sweetest person you'd ever meet. There is many things that I could write about her but one of the main things that comes to mind when I think about my grandmom is going to Sunday mass with my whole family and always going out to breakfast with her. It's something I would wait for all week because i was younger, so that was the highlight of the week. I can remember specifics of those days that I remember like the back of my hand, but that's something I'd like to wait to with about in my hiraeth. Going to family parties before she got sick was always the best because she was herself and was the grandmom I loved with my entire heart seeing her dancing to her favorite song "Sweet Caroline" with all of her friends that she grew up with and stayed friends with her entire life. There's lists of things i could say about my grandmom and what I remember, but I'm gonna think long and hard about the specific scenes I remember the most about her and the details about them, it's hard to pick because my grandmom was my best friend I could ever have.Hiraeth Draft #1Every Sunday morning at the crack of dawn I would always be woken up to the sound of the wood floors creaking from my dad already up walking around the house getting the coffee made to start his day. I would then lie my head gently back on my special pillow I had always used at the time that had “Phillies” written on it with the logo in the background and fall back to sleep. It was never a problem falling back asleep after being awoken at 5 am since I would only be awake for those few minutes, but basically still asleep. Pretty much like when you get woken up by something randomly in the middle of the night, your mind is pretty much still asleep and you sit there all dazed and confused, then fall back asleep like nothing happened. Next thing you know I’m woken up again by my 4 brothers arguing with each other arguing over who is going to shower first! My brother Jimmy was always the one that ended up getting the first/hottest shower. I was only 6 years old at the time and my sister Katie was 8 years old, and we never cared too much about getting up and fighting over the shower because it was always the same outcome, also we’re the 2 youngest out of the 6 Duffy children. The only thing that we would look forward to every Sunday morning was seeing our Grandmom for church. My grandmom was the most loving, kind-hearted woman you would ever meet. After everyone was dressed and all ready to go, we would cram into my mom’s old purple minivan and head over to St. Joeseph’s church. I remember the van not having enough room for all 6 of us in the back because my 3 older brothers are a lot older then us last 3 kids born, so my brother Ryan would always complain and would squeeze onto the seat but my sister and I would always get stuck sitting on the beat down floor of the minivan or sit on one of our brother’s laps. It was always a horrible 7 minute drive down the street to the church. My brother Ryan would always be complaining saying, “stop pinching me Mike! Just let me sit on the seat church is right down the street you can squeeze your fat in, I’m not sitting on the nasty floor”. He would always say something smart and those two would always get into an argument on the way to church, which would make my mom turn around and start yelling “You guys better knock it the hell off or I’m gonna tell your grandmother and she won’t let you guys go out to breakfast with her and Aunt I, so knock it off!”. When we would arrive at church I would be the first out of the jam packed minivan and would see a crowd of people from every family in our town, Briarcliffe. There were always tons of people there, everyone would be dressed up nice in their suits and ties, dresses and heels, and sunglasses and hats for when it was sunny out. While the rest of my family would be getting out of the car ready for church I would try getting through the huge crowd of people surrounding the outside of the church so I could get over to the front right corner of the church where my Grandmom and Aunt I would always be standing waiting for our dysfunctional family to arrive. When I was close to getting to them I could always tell because I would smell the Marlboro lights they would both be smoking before we all go in as a group for the 7 am mass. My grandmom’s big blue eyes and wrinkly face would light up with joy when she would finally see me with the big thick glasses she used to have, coming towards her from the crowd and she would always bend down, put her arms out, waiting for me to run up to her and would say “There’s my Danno!!! Come give your grandmom a big fat kiss and a hug”. As she sits there bent over squeezing me with all of her might giving me the biggest hug she could possibly give and would always look at me and stop, and with the smell of cigarettes hitting me in the face she would always whisper to me “You know you’re my favorite Danno”, while giving me a small quick wink before my sister comes running up to hug her just moments before the rest of the Duffy crew come walking up. We always went into church as a full, there was never one of us missing as we walked up the big flight of steps that felt like a million to head into church. We would have to sit through the 45 minute mass, keep standing, sitting, and kneeling, as bored as a 6 year old could ever be. My Grandmom, Aunt I, and my parents were always singing along with the songs and reading the bible verses as the preist reads them to the big room filled with other families of all sorts. I would always get mad when they would go up for their communion because at the time I wasn’t old enough to get it yet and would have to sit in my seat starving since we wouldn’t eat before church to prepare ourselves for the big breakfast were getting after. I would always say to my grandmom and parents “ Why don’t I get to have a piece of bread I’m starving!”, and they would sit there smiling at each other and tell me “When your old enough you’ll be able to walk up there with us, but it’s not so great tasting”. I knew mass would be coming to an end when the priest would have everyone greet each other with the sign of peace and shake hands with the people surrounding you, that’s when I would start to get real excited. I would be shaking everyone’s hands while thinking of the stack of chocolate chip pancakes, French toast, whatever I decided I wanted to get that Sunday for breakfast. When mass would end most of the times it would only be my Grandmom, Aunt I, and my sister going out to breakfast because my other siblings would be too tired and my parents wouldn’t want to go, so we would get to hangout with my Grandmom for the day and she always started it off y either making us breakfast at her place or taking us out. We would do it every Sunday morning after the 7 o’clock mass was over up until we moved. Questions I would like my group to ask me, Couldn't figure out how to get it into the comments.
1. What are some thing's I could work on to make my writing a better piece? (Not gonna lie rushed through and put as much details as possible so I had it in before the deadline there's still much more to put in.) 2. Should I stick to the path I'm heading in scene wise or did I put too much detail into the one scene? 3. What our your guys opinion on my hiraeth first draft so far? It's not criticism, it'll help me build as a writer. |
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